Fertility

We had our "plan of care" visit with the new OBGYN on Friday. I was expecting her to go over all of the blood work and proclaim that my health and fertility hath no bounds and that we were good to go for an IUI. Instead, she told me that my FSH (Follicular stimulating hormone) levels tested "alarmingly high" which is "indicative" of poor ovarian reserve. This could be a challenge in trying to conceive, and could mean higher risk of miscarriage. She gave us a rundown of options, from giving us a maximum of three cycles without intervention, three IUI cycles with Clomid, or heading straight to a reproductive endocrinologist for stronger fertility drugs or IVF. In a span of 10 minutes or less we discussed multiple birth risks, prices, the question of early menopause running in my family, etc. I sat there smiling and nodding, feeling composed, almost as if I was expecting this news, showing no indication that I would clam up 15 minutes later in the parking lot and drive home stone faced, feeling hopeless and negative. I tried to cry, but the tears were forced. It was fight or flight to me at that moment and I didn't know which option to choose. I went from feeling like a virile young and strong 33 year old woman to a prematurely aging case, broken, eggs shriveling by the minute. Since then I have gotten a second opinion from my acupuncturist. Her opinion is that I will be able to treat my body with herbs and acupuncture to lower the FSH level. I am already responding to the treatments that we have been doing over my last cycle, my 12 day ultrasound did show a follicle and I am ovulating, so those are all good signs. We decided to go ahead with the IUI next month without drug intervention and see what happens. It is ironic. We went into the search for an OB that would perform IUI, rather than head straight to a fertility clinic (the only direction we were pointed by three separate OBGYN's in the last two years) with the opinion that I should not have to be treated as a fertility challenge since I had no reason to believe I would have problems getting pregnant, only to be faced with this news by our new favorite OB. I am working through the emotions that something like this packs on, the internal issues it brings up. It is one moment at a time. Meditation and yoga are to be my right and left hand ladies over the next month. Wish us luck!