Charade

Last night was the first Presidential Debate. I am only taking a break from my pursuit of facts, trying to piece together all of the shit that I don't understand. At some point I will probably have something meaningful to say. But my first reactions are always from the gut so here is this. This morning I'm feeling tired and frustrated. Last night I went to bed feeling frustrated, angry and sick, followed by anxiety riddled dreams all through the night. Backing up to the debates, I was surprised by how well Romney was able to charm, a little disturbed by how confidently his words rolled off the tongue, especially disturbed by how far he leaned in to the middle,catering to this particular stand off with our President. I walked out of the theater (we watched it at the Drafthouse) feeling deflated. The jury says that Romney wins the debate, and I know that for all that its worth, it was his ability to come across to his audience in the right way, saying what people wanted to hear, that "won" it. I felt irritated that Obama didn't bring it, even though what he brought was the details behind every point that he was trying to make. Romney wins for charm. Obama looks like he is fed up, his face reflecting what I am feeling at any given moment throughout the debate. I am surprised at some of the things that Romney said. The speech about freedom of religion in this country and that we are all children of the same god made me pssht out loud in my seat. Equal opportunities for all families? I'm sorry dudes but he doesn't really mean that. My family is at the moment, unequal. If every other policy he wanted to implement was something that I agreed with, unless he is on board with allowing this progression toward equal rights to take place, I will vote for the other guy. Let us be clear that there is little to nothing about Romney that I am on board with anyway; it is just that for MY particular "middle income" family, having the security of marriage protection would strengthen us a GREAT deal financially. The gay issue is only the big issue for me. I am also fond of "Obamacare, and overall appreciative of the measured intellectual approach that Obama takes to govern our country. It isn't surprising to me that he would look and act the way he did last night. I'm just a girl sitting here in Texas thinking this whole charade is just a bunch of monkey business. And I can't help but watch.